you ever look back on yourself and realise that you wouln't like meetin youserlf..well i'm back to that again...i think i've never been off of that..just hit me again today..i've not talked to my daughter in ...i don't even know..the one thing i promised myself that i would never do...my friends ..stoped talkin to most of them...tryed to start over..but that just leades to the same circle... make friends and then stop..i'm takein leave and i haven't even told anyone back home that i'm comein yet..tryed to tell megan one night but didn't stay online long ennouff to check if she ever got it..i need to call and talk to everyone but keep putin if off..it all comes back to i'm tryin to hide from myself..i di'nt like me, that's not what i realy mean ..i wouldn't like me if i meet me...it that makes sence..hell i don't even have money to buy plain ticket right now..go figure..i'm just in the mood to smash things..so many things i need to do...i'm just tiard..tiard of bein me..what ever...well this was my break down..now putin smiling face back on and headed back to work...y did i come here? oh yea because i was a lazy pile and didn't wana go to coledge..ok done..peace i'm out..

~ri3sj@c
i might be a black light but atleast i'm not burnt out